Letters to the Editor

S. S., via email

I have seen the Young Muslim Digest. I need some consultation from your end. I want to marry a woman. The details about her are:

1. Immediately after birth in a hospital, her (unknown) mother put her into dustbin.

2. She was adopted by a Muslims family.

3. They also had three sons.

4. After schooling, most of the time she was at home doing house hold work (they use to treat her as if she was the maid-servant).

5. When she was 18, they forced her to get married to their eldest son.

6. Now the husband is in Dubai and says he follows the instructions of his parents.

7. After 8 years of marriage she has two daughters. But she disapproves of the marriage itself because she thinks her husband is her brother.

8. Her parents use to tell that she is “our baity bhi aur bahoo bhi (daughter as well as daughter-in-law)” with pride.

9. I met her a year ago and we became good friends

10. Now I have decided to marry her. I am ready to adopt her two children. We are trying to get her divorced.

Is that allowed in Islam?

YMD

If you had remembered the Prophet’s hadith that when a (non-mahram) man and woman meet in privacy, their third is Shaytan, you would have never gone this far.

The lady in question must know that she is no sister to her adoptive father’s sons. Her marriage is Islamically legal. In Islam, it is the womb which determines the legality of conjugal relationships.

The adoptive parents have been more than kind with her to pick her up from the dustbin and marry her to their own dear son.

You say she does not approve of the marriage because she thinks her husband is her brother. But this reason is not convincing in view of her being unfair to her adoptive parents who, she claims, treated her as a housemaid. She ignores the fact that they picked her up from the dustbin and married her to their son.

Probably her marriage is undergoing stress, something that normally happens in every marriage. Your interference, apart from being unlawful, will make things worse. Even if she was truly married to a wrong man, you should not have interfered. Her two daughters will undergo life-long suffering if she separates from her present husband.

You will do very well to cut off all communications with her. If you feel you should do good to a woman, you may marry an orphan-girl picked up from an orphanage. That way, you will be demonstrating your good intentions to your Lord, while satisfying your zeal for doing good.

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