Letters to the Editor

Let us hear from Ibrahim b. Adhum about why supplications are not answered. When inquired, he answered,

“Because:

You have known Allah but did not obey Him.

You have known the Prophet (saws) but did not follow his sunnah.

You have understood the Qur’an but have not lived by it.

You have devoured the blessings of God but did not thank Him.

You have known Paradise but have not sought it.

You have known the Fire, but did not try to avoid it.

You have known Satan but have not declared a war against him, rather, you befriended him.

You have known death but have not prepared for it.

You buried the dead but did not draw lessons from it.

And, you forgot your own defects and have busied yourselves with the defects of the others.”

(So how can your prayers be answered)?!”

It is to seek a pointer or indicator from Allah, by a believer, in an affair about which he is unsure – despite having consulted people experienced in that particular field, who are also unable to guide him to proper course – and so, is divided between one course or the other. A few other additional conditions are that (a) the affair in which the indicator is sought, does not defy any Islamic law or prohibition, (b) is not of a purely worldly nature (such as, “should I open a sports shop or a grocery store?”), or (c) for someone [who does not spend in the way of Allah] to resort to istikhara over the issue: “should I change my job for a better-salaried one, since, with the additional income, I will be in a better position to spend in the way of Allah.

The above three are simple examples, otherwise there can be dozens of affairs in which resorting to istikhara will yield no results.

To expend Zakah amount on someone who cannot afford to obtain Islamic education because of financial constraints is one the best ways of expending it.

The interest money earned from funds kept in the banks, is not the property of the depositor. Since the interest money is not his, he cannot use it for any purpose except to give it away in the way of Allah, with no hopes of reward, but with the doubt of being questioned, and hence, with a repentant heart.

If the authorities do not mind your absence from the job on every Friday, will not penalize you, nor put it in your records, then you may as well be absent from your job to attend Friday Prayers, even if it happens 52 times in a year.

Alternatively, you may be absent only for about 4 hours on Fridays, under the same conditions as above.

A third way out would be to be absent on Friday altogether but attend to work on Saturday, once again if that is acceptable to the authorities.

With regard to the use of “Company vehicle”, it is up to the authorities to decide. If they do not object, you may use. If they ask for a nominal fee, you may pay.

The permission obtained from the authorities to attend Friday Prayers, you could arrange a weekly taxi also for transport.

But, if none of the above works, i.e., no leave, no time out, no official vehicle, no taxi, then you remain absolved of the obligation of Friday Prayers and will earn no sin for not offering them.

A mentally deranged man’s pronouncement of Talaq has no legal worth. His pronouncements with regard to conditions he places for divorce to occur are also of no legal value.

In fact, his condition that a mother may not speak to her children is a sign of his mental illness. He may be referred to a psychiatrist immediately.

Your uncle did the right thing by moving out of the house. Whatever reason your father had for saying such a hard thing as “I’ll beat you,” the words challenged the sense of honor of your uncle. Had he lived on, he would have to hear much worse things. He could even experience assault. Therefore, a gentlemanly exit from the house was the best option.

It is possible that your uncle was in a materially advantageous position by living in your grandparent’s house. But, in return, he and his family’s presence were providing a solid emotional prop to your grandparents. Emotional service is of much greater value than material service.

Your father should be sorry that he (a) failed to recognize, acknowledge and thank his brother, (b) abused his brother, (c) threatened violence, (c) separated his brother from his parents and (d) caused great anguish to his parents who have to suffer this mental torture in their final years.

Your father should, if he is truly sorry, announce his regret in public, seek the forgiveness of his parents (who come first), promise them corrective measures, and, finally, take a senior witness along, go the brother, and seek his forgiveness. His action will demonstrate whether he is truly sorry or not.

Obviously, you cannot convey this to him. You need to find someone else for it.

On the other hand, your uncle threw to dust his past services by reminding that he has been supporting the grandparents and niece. This is “mann” in Arabic, (ihsan jatlaanaa in Urdu), strongly prohibited in Islam. He too should, therefore, openly pronounce his regret and seek forgiveness from his parents.

As for the “mediators” many of them play mischievous roles without knowing that they are doing so. They should consult a leading scholar of the area to find out how they can make a constructive contribution, instead of taking sides. Yet, it may be acknowledged that your father and brother are pretty matured persons, and instead of listening to others, should sort out the issue between themselves.

If you are married and your husband is either desirable that you do these things, or does not object, and supports you with finance for such things, then there should be no objection to your trimming, bleaching and use of cosmetics.

But, if you are unmarried, then, for whom is it that you want to do these things? Obviously, it is not for your parents, brothers and sisters. It has to be for your female friends (since as a Muslimah you wear hijab and niqab). But, why should a girl go to such extents for the pleasure of her female friends?

Falling in love is an uncontrollable act of the heart, mind and soul. Therefore, everyone keeps falling in love with everything. Someone falls in love with an idea, another with an ideology, a third with a beautiful country, a fourth with his profession, a fifth with music, and so on.

The youth’s greatest need is sex. It is such a powerful urge that they spend a lot of time thinking of it, talking of it, and discussing it. To them, sex comes before food. In this age, they are ready to fall in love with almost anyone. So that, someone of the middle-class family, for example, can fall in love with a sweeper in the street if he or she has sexually appealing physical features. If this condition is met, then, the social status of the person, his or her culture, family background, level of education, attitude to religion, ability to earn, and holding of proper views on life, etc., are not given any importance. In fact, they are not visible – even if defective. Women are known to have fallen in love with proven criminals. They are also known for having fallen in love with convicted criminals in prisons, having visited the prison and been exposed to the caged criminal. Such is the power of sex.

In view of the irresistible force, it is quite natural that human beings should keep falling in love with each other, until the crave for sex subsides. And, therefore, they cannot be blamed for falling in love. They can only be blamed for being in such social situations which offer opportunities for exposure. Therefore, Islam insists on segregation of the sexes, covering of the face by women where segregation is not possible (such as in the market-place), and early marriages.