Letters to the Editor

M. T., via email

I am an engineering student and a regular reader of YMD. I have a few questions for which I request your short answers. I would be very happy if you are able to answer my question through e-mail as I think I don’t have that much amount of time to wait till the next month’s issue is out in the stores.

YMD

Regretfully, we do not answer on the mail. Consider. If you didn’t pick up a copy of our magazine from the stores, who will? Religious literature is not a can of popular Pepsi.

We two did all sort of things except intercourse. Now does it become necessary for us to marry each other? Has it become haraam for us to marry someone else?

YMD

Allah has said (24: 24), “Evil women are for evil men, and evil men are for evil women; and pure women are for pure men and pure men are for pure women.”

In the light of the above, you should first put yourself on a course of reform and development. Give yourself say a year during which you study Islam, make new friends who are committed to Islam, change your habits about how you spend your leisure hours, attend lectures or halaqas, listen to tapes, etc.

At the end of the year you may re-evaluate yourself. If you have spent the year well, you will feel that you have improved in several ways: intellectually, morally and even spiritually. You may then choose a mate in the light of your changed perspectives. If, at that time you feel your old friend is still the right person to get married to, then, go ahead and marry her. (Maybe, she would have also changed towards the better during this period). But, after you have improved yourself, you find yourself disinclined to marry her because of lack of certain qualities, then, do not.

You are not bound to the consequences or concomitant circumstances involving delinquencies of the past.

Another problem is that her parents do not agree to her marriage with me. So my next question is: should we tell the truth to our parents so that they consider our awkward condition and get us married at the appropriate time?

YMD

Have you not thought that informing your respective parents of your past relationship with each other would be sin upon sin, and a kind of blackmail?

As for awkwardness, we do not see any. You both need not marry each other simply because you have sinned with each other.

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